Aimless Wanderings

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When, in the  
midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and  
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out… ENOUGH! Enough fighting  
and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child  
quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to  
look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to  
change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over  
the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren’t  
always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever  
after” must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is  
born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and  
that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or  
what you are, and that’s okay. They are entitled to their own views and  
opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in  
the process a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval.  
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did  
to you - or didn’t do for you - and you learn that the only thing you  
can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t  
always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone  
will always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and take care of yourself, and in  
the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.  
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as  
they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties… and in  
the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You  
begin to discover that the world is much larger than where you live,  
and you rediscover your curiosity and embrace adventurous exploration.  
You open up your mind, begin reassessing and redefining who you are and  
what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin  
to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never  
have bought into to begin with. You learn that there is power and glory  
in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life  
merely as a consumer looking for your next fix. You learn that  
principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of  
a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon  
which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save  
the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the  
only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get  
burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. You learn to look at  
relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You  
learn that alone does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control  
people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt  
and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and  
learning to say no.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,  
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that your body  
really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with  
respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take  
more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear,  
and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food  
fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh  
and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe  
you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that  
wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making  
it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success  
you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no  
one can do it all alone, and that it’s okay to ask for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You  
learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that  
whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give  
away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for  
your life and not squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.  
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you  
think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting,  
good people, and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always  
somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you  
are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn that  
negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood  
and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison  
the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple  
things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the  
earth can only dream about: a complete family, clean running water, a  
soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and  
you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever  
settle for less than your heart’s desire. You make a mental note not to  
defer your life any longer – only living it after you graduate, after  
you get that flashy new car, or after you make your millions as an  
investment banker. If you are passionate enough, you can do what you  
love for the rest of your life, right here, right now.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, to keep  
learning, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally,  
with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath,  
and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.